Thursday, July 21, 2011

CH 6. Let Her Eat Cake!

I had 2 days to get one of two principals to take a chance on me and offer me a contract, and they both did; however, I picked an elementary school where one of my best friends was teaching fourth grade.  I too was offered a fourth grade Math/Science position. 

The hard part now was finishing out the year from March-May, especially when my students were starting to plan their schedule for next year.  Some started to ask me if I would teach Art II or a specific art method.  I had to stand in front of each of my classes and tell them what had happened, and I tried not to cry, but I did.  I think that it was okay for them to see me like that... to see that things don't always go your way no matter how much you work for it. Some of them were pretty upset and mad, but I told them it was okay, and suggested some of the other art teachers. 

Then school ended, and summer began.  I was never bitter... I didn't blame anyone... this was no one's fault, and I couldn't have done any more than I already had in order to keep my job.  But that didn't mean that I wasn't sad... and I was... the whole summer.  It was hard to get myself pumped up for elementary again, even though I knew people at the school.  On the Friday before the first day, I was upset again in my new classroom and my principal came down to talk to me. 

I had a hard time explaining to people how I felt.  I didn't want pity, and I didn't want people to think that I was bitter or that I didn't want to be there, because I did... just my whole heart wasn't there.  I explained it like this to her:

If you have never eaten dessert, and you have chocolate cake, it is AWESOME!!! Chocolate cake is great and you love it!  But then, someone offers you cheesecake... and when you have that, you say, "Why on earth did I not eat this earlier?? I will never go back to chocolate cake again.  Cheese Cake is the BEST!!! But then one day, that person tells you that you can not have cheese cake again, and only chocolate cake is offered.  You don't want chocolate cake, but you do want dessert, so you eat it. However, it does not taste the same like it did before the cheesecake.  But after you eat it for a long enough time, you begin to forget all the details of the cheesecake, and you begin to like the chocolate cake again.

She smiled at me and completely understood. I just wanted her to know I would come around... it might take a little time... but I would get back to normal. 

It's amazing how a class of kids makes you forget all about yourself and you become engrossed in making them better individuals than they were the day before, and when I threw myself into Science, I began to find the part of myself that was gone for so long.  I worked really hard making lots of labs and soon the District Science Coordinator and I began to know one another on a first name basis.  At the end of that school year, though, out of the blue, she was let go and left our school district.  I on the other hand was offered to teach writing and science for the following year.  My heart leaped!

Writing...... creative writing... sharing stories...creating pictures with words.... It was like being an art teacher all over again... I would be able to create again.  I was going into my 5th year of teaching and so far, I had taught something new each year.

4th Science/ SS
3rd self- contained
HS All Level ART
4th Math and Science
4th Writing and Science

My first year back in elementary was a "chocolate cake" kind of year; however,  God was about to show me why He had me come back to the elementary during my 5th year. 

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