Tuesday, July 19, 2011

CH 5. Prayers

The Monday after spring break 2009... a day that I will never ever forget.

It was my conference time.. 10:30, and the head principal called me into his office.  I thought this was a little odd since the principal that I always reported to was the freshman principal---my class was in the freshman wing of the school.  So I went over there... all smiles, not worried, after all I had just finished the Valentine's Day dance and the spring show was coming up.  Maybe he was going to ask for some help with prom or tell me that I definitely was getting a contract since the Board Meeting was on Thursday for contracts. 

Then, while I was still standing and the door was open towards his secretary, he told me, "Well, there have been some cuts to the budget, and I have to let go of 10 teachers.  I'm sorry but you won't get a contract for the high school."  My head started to spin and all of a sudden I just wept like a baby.  I don't think he was prepared for my outburst like that; he didn't have any Kleenex available, but his secretary brought me some.  I kept on saying out loud "It's okay... it's okay..."  He probably thought I was saying it to him, but I was trying to get myself back under control.   He told me that he had already talked to two elementary campuses that may have some openings, but I would have to turn in a letter of resignation so it didn't look like I was fired. 

What!?!?!? You just let me go for next year, against my will, and you want me to give you a letter of MY resignation??!!?  I DON'T WANT TO RESIGN.  I want my job!  Those were the words I was screaming at him in my head.  My body just nodded.  I told him that I needed to go to the administration office and speak with someone in human resources.

The problem I had now was that I had to update my resume, and sell myself to another principal who would vouch for me at the Board Meeting and give me a transfer instead of resigning or looking like I was terminated.  I had 3 days. 

As I left his office, my face was a complete wreck-- red, puffy, and tears still coming as little sobs were escaping my lips.  I went to my freshman principal and told him what happened.  He had no idea, and he gave me a huge hug and told me he would find a sub for me for the rest of the day.  And so I left. 

As I drove to the admin office, still crying, I started crying out to God that I didn't think it was fair, but I was thankful to have the one year of living my dream.  I told Him I didn't want to leave, but I was glad it was me and not the teacher with cancer, or the other two male teachers that had been there forever.  They weren't certified in anything but art... so it was better that I be the one to leave since I was certified in EC-4 Generalist.  I cried and prayed that if I was going to lose my dream, please God, please have some bigger and better plan for me than what I dreamed for myself. 

I set up 2 interviews, one for Tuesday morning and one for Wednesday afternoon.  I went home, laid on the couch, my wonderful husband took a half day to come home and console me, and I watched an episode of Joel Osteen. 

Finally in the late afternoon, I stopped crying (temporarily), pulled it together, and started working on my resume.  I was following HIS plan now, as unwillingly as I was,  and I had no time to waste.

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