Because of my controlling nature, I tend to have pretty serious trust issues. I hate disappointing people or not living up to the potential that I have been given. Therefore, when presented to work in a group, I am not the best participant, because I can end up taking over to do what I think is best.
And it is NOT always what is best.
My controlling SIN makes it hard for me to trust others to make the right choices, especially when I am going to be affected by their decision, and it makes me STRUGGLE with God on Trusting His Plan for Me.
THE STRUGGLE IS REAL MY FRIENDS... IT IS SO REAL.
Trust is hard. Super Hard. Especially when you are in the dark. But the Lord has given us His Word! Isaiah 42:16 states:
In order for someone to lead (and the Lord says "I will lead..."), that means I have to follow. There is only one leader and if it's God, then it is not me. I am not in control. God is. I don't have to know the way in which my life is headed, I just have to TRUST that He is a good leader (and HE IS) and let Him.
I know that most of my entries into my little girl's Bible are about TRUSTING the LORD, probably because this is what I personally need serious guidance in. I don't want my girl to struggle with trusting like I do.
The path is dark in front of me, but I know who leads my way. I may not get to where I want to be in the time that I desire, but if I traveled this unfamiliar, dark path blindly, can you imagine how many scrapes, bruises, and serious injury I could endure!? No thank you.
The problem with letting someone else lead is you have to move with them. You have to give up control and let them be the guide. I have to give up control. This hot mess of a control freak has to do what she hates...she has to give up and release control. Give Up. Release. Trust.
I trust my Guide. I know my Guide. I will follow my Guide.
Lord, I am not in control of the situation I am currently in. I know you see what it is and are working in it. Lord, I am sorry for my controlling ways. Please forgive me and take the reigns... I do not want to travel this dark road without You. Be my Leader and my Guide. Please help me keep my hands from clutching for control. Your ways are better than mine, and You know the way. Lord, I trust You and pray You light the way before me. I love you.